Divorce Mediation - 3 Alarming Reasons Why a Couple Should Not Use Divorce Mediation

in Divorce

If you are like most people and professionals, you are starting to hear about the myriad of benefits of choosing divorce mediation versus our traditional divorce court system. A system that is bent on making combatants out of divorcing couples. Wouldn't it be great if every couple that wanted a divorce ended up going through a more civilized form of splitting up? It would mean the couples would side step paying court costs, exorbitant divorce attorney's fees and avoid all of the hassles and headaches that come with getting a divorce in our adversarial system.

However, not all of those seeking a split are going to qualify for divorce mediation. What you may not know is, there are three alarming reasons why a couple won't be able to use divorce mediation. If a couple fits into one or more of these categories it will literally be impossible for any divorce mediator to help them.

Reason #1 - One or Both Parties Are Hell Bent On Engaging In The Next "The War of The Roses"

If you have never seen the 1989 movie, "The War of The Roses" you have got to grab the DVD and watch it. In it, a high-powered attorney played by Michael Douglas, is married to a high-strung entrepreneur, played by Kathleen Turner. As you're watching the movie, narrated by none other than Danny DeVito, the unpredictable couple's marriage unravels. In route to the divorce court, they both hire no holds barred attorneys, draw lines in the sand and declare an all out war against each other.

In the end, their divorce is rift with: insults, knee jerk skirmishes, false accusations, domestic violence, verbal, financial and emotional abuse. They point being; they both chose that path! All it takes is one person to decide they want to fight and it's on and the couple simply becomes too hot to handle for any divorce mediator.

Reason #2 - One or Both Parties Are Hell Bent On Getting Vengeance Against Their Spouse

Some people can quickly forgive, forget and move on. Others have hard time forgiving but eventually they come around. But the people that won't qualify for divorce mediation are the ones who not only cannot forgive but they want to exact their own brand of vengeance. They live by "Quid Pro Quo and Tit for Tat." When they feel wronged by their spouse, whether real or imagined, they will be out to return the hurt.

Reason #3 - One or Both Parties Are Hell Bent on Executing a False Sense of Entitlement

When either party feels they are entitled to something they may not be entitled to, you can expect another pre-divorce marital conflict and not divorce mediation. For example, we had a couple that had been married one year; 366 days to be exact before she filed for divorce citing irreconcilable differences. They had one home, two cars and no children together, although she had two children from previous relationships).

It should have been an easy divorce but the wife turned it into an ugly divorce conflict by demanding that he pay her child support, alimony and she wanted her and her kids to remain on his health insurance plan. In the end she cost her and her husband unnecessary attorney's fees, put them through a long drawn out divorce battle, which included a trial and she walked away with none of her demands being met. Every couple that can get past these three hurdles are candidates for divorce mediation!

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Myles Davidson has 1 articles online

More and more couples are seeing the benefits of choosing to use a Divorce Mediator over the highly combative court system. They are learning how to divorce as friends through Divorce Mediation. Here are some quick tips to find a Divorce Mediator brought to you by http://seekmediation.com/

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Divorce Mediation - 3 Alarming Reasons Why a Couple Should Not Use Divorce Mediation

This article was published on 2010/03/27
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