Mediation a Private Process

in Divorce

The Family Law Mediator offers a process in which the parties meet in a private place to discuss personal and financial problems for the purpose of resolution. When in court, it is not uncommon to wait several hours until a case is called, then days, weeks or even months until a decision is rendered, during which time problems often only fester. With some foresight and a commitment to purpose, this resolution can occur long before the parties are depleted financially and otherwise. Although it may be difficult to fully comprehend the benefit of early settlement, the rewards are plentiful; the emotional strain is lessened, the financial burden reduced, and people are given the opportunity to keep their dignity intact while working through tremendously taxing and personal issues.

Mediation requires a willingness to follow some fundamental ground rules: everyone is committed to staying focused on the agenda at hand; the parties are respectful of others at all times; and everyone does his or her very best to keep calm no matter how emotional the topics become. If the parties cannot do this on their own or with the help of legal counsel, a trained mediator or divorce coach may be retained in order to facilitate the process. Above all else, the parties must continually remind themselves that effective communication is the key to moving successfully through the process.

The option of divorce resolution is not a new concept, but given that litigation is largely chosen despite mediation being readily available, it can only be assumed that people are either skeptical about the probability of success through mediation, or for whatever reason are not yet ready to end the fighting. The divorce process has a rhythm of its own and people need time to adjust to the changes in their lives. People often experience the same stages of grief during the course of a divorce as when a loved one dies: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and finally acceptance. But even after people have accepted the circumstances for what they are, when the fight surely should be over, in many instances the war manages to wage on…and on… and on. In such a case, incivility becomes a bad habit; much like road rage where there is an unhealthy, unthinking default response. People must demand better, more of themselves and more for their loved ones; choosing civil behavior is a way to avoid knee-jerk toxic responses, not only to improve interfamilial relations, but to better serve their own interests in obtaining a divorce at less of a financial and emotional cost. With the help of a Family Law Mediator, a positive result can be effectuated even in a difficult situation.

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Corwin Smith has 1 articles online

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Mediation a Private Process

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This article was published on 2011/06/08