Recover After Divorce - 11 Truths You Absolutely Must Know

1. It won’t last forever.  Always keep in mind that divorce is a transition in your life.  Though 

painful, when you consciously work through the divorce process, you will heal.

2. You are not alone.  Though you may feel abandoned and it seems that everyone else’s life is

going better than yours, know that many others face relationship loss as well.  This is a time to

make positive connections with others on the same healing path. Take a divorce workshop to help you connect and recover.

3. Feelings are your friends.  Allow yourself to express your emotions appropriately.  Learn

from them to work through the divorce process instead of avoiding them or becoming stuck.

• Fear motivates you to do what it takes to move forward.
• Loneliness helps you get in better touch with yourself.
• Rejection opens the door to self-acceptance.
• Guilt begins the process of appropriate self-responsibility.
• Grief cleanses you of your pain.
• Anger gives you the power to rebuild your life.
• Low self-worth shows how much you care for yourself and want to feel better.

4.

the dynamics of your relationship.  This will help you understand why it turned out the way it

did and what you can do differently to create a healthier relationship in the future.

5. The harder you work, the faster you’ll recover.  Avoiding your feelings and the issues of

divorce only keeps you stuck.  Educate yourself with classes, and reading divorce books for men or women. Working through them gives you strength, knowledge and takes you toward a new life.

6. Letting go of the old relationship opens up whole new worlds.  Hanging onto the past,

emotionally or behaviorally, only prolongs the pain.  You build a new life in the space created

by releasing the old one.

7. You are NOT damaged goods.  Feeling wounded does not make you broken.  Pain is a

natural part of the process.  In fact, your hurt shows how deeply you loved.  What you learn

from your divorce can make you healthier and wiser than before.  Greater emotional

awareness builds empathy and increases your capacity for intimacy.

8. You will find a new you.  As you “pick up the pieces” after divorce, you have an exciting

opportunity to create a whole new life for yourself.  Join a support group for divorced, and choose to make it better than ever.

9. Trust with others begins by trusting yourself.  Divorce damages trust.  Rebuild that trust by

being trustworthy— with promises you make to yourself and commitments with others. 

Realize that if you can be trusted, there must be others out there who can be trusted too.

10. Friendship is the best part of any relationship.  Experiencing divorce can help you learn to

be a better friend with yourself.  As you branch out again, build solid friendships with both

men and women first.  These are the foundations for dating and new love-relationships.

11. Forgiveness brings freedom.  After processing the pain and learning the lessons of your

divorce, know that when you forgive you find freedom.  Forgiveness does NOT mean that what

happened was okay.  It means that you don’t carry the pain around anymore.  Let go of all the

bitterness and regret.  “Remember the lesson and forget the experience.”  Also, forgive

yourself.  All of us are human.

You deserve all the happiness in the world!